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SENIOR SERENITY
CHISELED WITH FEAR 3. Do not search the basement, especially if the
power has gone out.
Two men were walking home after a Halloween
party and decided to take a shortcut through the 4. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER
cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the pair off and go it alone.
cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping
noise coming from the misty shadows. 5. As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open
portals to Hell.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with
a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the 6. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or
headstones. crypt. This would apply to any other house of the
dead as well.
“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching
his breath. “You scared us half to death -- we 7. If you’re searching for something which caused
thought you were a ghost! What are you doing a loud noise and find out that it’s just the cat, GET
working here so late at night?” OUT!
“My family are such fools!” the old man grumbled. 8. If appliances start operating by themselves, do
“They misspelled my name and here I have to not check for short circuits; just get out!
correct it!”
9. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
ADVICE FOR A SAFE HALLOWEEN
10. If you find a town which looks deserted,
there’s probably a good reason for it. Don’t stop
1. When it appears that you have killed the and look around.
monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.
11. Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology
2. Never read a book of demon summoning unless you’re sure you know what you’re doing.
aloud, even as a joke.
12. If you’re running from the monster, expect
to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that,
despite the fact that you are running and the
monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving
fast enough to catch up with you.
13. Stay away from certain geographical locations,
some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm
Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you’re in trouble if
you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or
any small town in Maine.
